Malia: So, you don’t want to have sex with me and make a baby that will grow up to worship you and ignore me like the rest of our children do? MJ: Everything but the last part. Our babies love you. You are an awesome mom! I have to work. While I am working they miss me, so when I…
Words cannot express how thankful, how appreciated, how grateful, how honored, how valued, how respected, how cared about, how loved, and how supported all of you, my loyal followers and supporters have been and continue to be. I know that I could not have achieved what I have achieved, and would not be where I am today, if it were…
Warning: If you are not 18 years of age or older, do not read this post, because these quotes are definitely meant for adults only! “I wasn’t thinking that at all. I was thinking about banging your vagina unmercilessly.” Michael “MJ The Terrible” Johnson “I have an adult version nursery rhyme for you. Hickory dickory dock. I’m about to slam…
Malia: I have a question for you. MJ: Shoot Malia: Did you marry me because I look like one of your childhood crushes Danica McKellar? MJ: I have no idea who that is. Malia: It’s Winnie Cooper from the Wonder Years. MJ: No, but now that I think about it, you do kind of look like her. Malia: Look baby……. MJ:…
Malia: Thank you for carrying me to bed last night after I fell asleep in the chair. That was really sweet of you. MJ: I love you! Malia: Why didn’t you wake me up during my horrible nightmare last night? MJ: I didn’t know you were having a horrible nightmare. I’m sorry babe. Malia: You didn’t want me. It was…
“Slam Poetry” is for everyone, but “Deep Poetry Feeling Shit”, it’s like our own customized version of it. In other words- Slam Poetry, I don’t knowetry. Deep Poetry Feeling Shit, that I get. Now on to your boobs….. As it turns out, you are not just a pretty face. You also have awesome boobs. Your boobs always put me in…
MJ: I love you Malia: Come get me pregnant MJ: I have to wait for my work product to upload, and make sure the receives it. Malia: Come get me pregnant MJ: I can text until then. Malia: Come get me pregnant MJ: I love you Malia: Come get me pregnant MJ: ETA 15 to 20 min Malia: Come get…
Malia: Baby! MJ: I’m here. What’s up? Malia: I’m going through withdraw MJ: Pregnancy withdraw? As in, not being pregnant and missing it withdraw? Malia: That to MJ: What’s the first thing if there is a “That to”? Malia: The thing makes me pregnant. MJ: Sex? Malia: Yes! MJ: Well I know the fix for that withdraw! Malia: You have…
Malia: Baby, I keep waiting for something to be wrong with you. MJ: What do you mean? Are you trying to find something wrong with me so you can be done with me, like we were dating? Malia: You still seem too good to be true. There has to be something wrong with you. Malia: Are you fooling me into…
Malia: Your mom just got Grandmother’s death certificate from the funeral home. Do you know what Grandmother died from? MJ: Golden Girls Overdose? Malia: You can’t die from watching too much Golden Girls. MJ: She died from a stroke, right? Malia: Guess again. MJ: I heard the doctor say she had a stroke. Malia: Yes, she had a stroke, but…