Warning: If you are not 18 years of age or older, do not read this post, because these quotes are definitely meant for adults only! “I am going to have a stress induced panic attack unless I unload this stress into your vagina.” Michael “MJ The Terrible” Johnson “Does not compute. Does not compute. Slide to the side. Slide to…
MJ: Malia, I finally found a word that accurately describes your butt. The word is “Callipygian”. Callipygian comes from the Greek word kallipýgos, meaning having a beautiful buttocks, referring to a statue of Aphrodite. MJ: Baby, your butt is so incredible that it causes other women to have Gluteus Maximus Deficit Disorder. What is Gluteus Maximus Deficit Disorder you might…
To my soulmate Michael David Johnson, You may not have been my first date, my first boyfriend, or my first kiss, but since you came into my life you have been my all everything and I know you always will be. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. If I could give you one thing, it…
Warning: If you are not 18 years of age or older, do not read this post, because these quotes are definitely meant for adults only! “I love you for all of the good honest reasons, but I also love you for all the naughty dirty reasons.” Michael “MJ The Terrible” Johnson “I will forever remember today as three quickies day.…
Warning: If you are not 18 years of age or older, do not read this post, because these quotes are definitely meant for adults only! “The world doesn’t make sense right now, but our family, our love, is the one thing that does.” Michael “MJ The Terrible” Johnson “That is called reverse commandoization. I didn’t have boxers on under my…
Warning: If you are not 18 years of age or older, do not read this post, because these quotes are definitely meant for adults only! “I wanna run up on you, dig deep and goo your guts up. Then kiss you to show you that I care.” Michael “MJ The Terrible” Johnson “Assume the bend over and touch your toes…
Malia: Remember when your life was running off the rails and you started drinking a lot, and doing stupid shit, and you got up in the strip club announcer booth and made this “Coming out hot on the main stage” strip club video? MJ: I do. Malia: Fast forward a of couple years and your life was improving. You were…
Warning: If you are not 18 years of age or older, do not read this post, because these quotes are definitely meant for adults only! “Oh, we are going upstairs. We need to talk about my boner origin story.” Michael “MJ The Terrible” Johnson “Well look at you walking around all pretty and naked in the kitchen.” Michael “MJ The…
Malia: Do you know what I am? MJ: An MK Ultra sex kitten Malia: Guess again MJ: A shapeshifting sex alien? Malia: Nope. Guess again. MJ: A fembot? Malia: Nope. Guess again. It has to do with love. MJ: A love machine? Malia: Oh my God baby! What can our love create? MJ: Family? Happiness? Malia: You are red hot…
Michael David Johnson, We grew up 8,000 miles away from each other, but the universe brought us together. If the universe wants us to be together, who am I to argue with the universe? I compared the number of days that I have been alive to the number of days we have been together. What I found out was you have…