Warning: If you are not 18 years of age or older, do not read this post, because these quotes are definitely meant for adults only! “As you can see, my hair is up in a bun. So, you know I mean business.” Malia May Johnson “I know baby. When you aren’t getting any, it shows. You are way feistier. I…
Tag: Fun in the bedroom
I Need Some Girl With The Tilt Head ASAHP
MJ: It has been a week with no sex. My balls are going to explode! I need some girl with the tilt head asahp! Malia: I know baby. Sometimes things happen that block sex. Is asahp as soon as humanly possible? MJ: It is! Malia: I’m sorry. MJ: My balls are going to explode! Malia: My panties are soaked and…
Me “Deep Poetry Feeling Shit” by Malia May Johnson
This is my newest “Deep Poetry Feeling Shit”/Slam Poetry/Free Form Poetry that I wrote for you, that was inspired by you. I call it “Me” “Me” by Malia May Johnson Talk to me, call me, text me, email me, lay with me, on me and in me. Kiss me, touch me, hold me, hug me, lick me, bite me, eat…
Song Sexting
MJ: This is the dirty version of the Tuttie Fruttie lyrics that were sexspired by you….. “Puthy Juicy” by MJ I got a girl name Malia; she really loves me. I got girl name Malia; she so amazing I got down on one knee. I got a girl named Malia; she has all my babies. She lived with me in…
Mary Magdalene Was Like The Original Ride or Die Chick
Malia: Baby! MJ: I’m here. What’s up? Malia: I’m going through withdraw MJ: Pregnancy withdraw? As in, not being pregnant and missing it withdraw? Malia: That to MJ: What’s the first thing if there is a “That to”? Malia: The thing makes me pregnant. MJ: Sex? Malia: Yes! MJ: Well I know the fix for that withdraw! Malia: You have…
The Forehead Bandit
Malia: There was a man that snuck into my shower and took an “Up” picture in between my legs of my goodies! MJ: Oh no! We should start an investigation immediately. Malia: I have a place to start. He left behind a clue. MJ: What kind of clue? Malia: On one of the pictures he took there is a picture…
My Favorite Malia May Johnson Sexy Hot Quotes 6 by Michael “MJ The Terrible” Johnson
Warning: If you are not 18 years of age or older, do not read this post, because these quotes are definitely meant for adults only! “I’m at the Woodland house. I’m sorry baby. I am to pregnant and fat and hormonal and horny to think. Come over to this house, bend me over something, and bang me out of my…
Honoring My American Hero Husband The XXX Way ;)
May is military appreciation month, and you are an American hero Michael David Johnson. I really want to service you. I mean I really want to thank you for your service. You know that song “America, Fuck Yeah! Comin’ Again To Save The Mother Day” song from the Team America World Police movie? I know you do. I rewrote the…
My Top 20 Favorite Sexy Foreplay Posts on Therealmjtheterrible.com By Malia May Johnson
I was going to do a top 10 favorite foreplay posts, but then it turned into a top 15, which turned into a top 20, which would have turned into a top 25, or 30, or 35, etc., probably, if I had more time. I love my husband MJ, and I love making love to him. I get asked a…
Pablo Sexcobar and The Rise of The Machines In Our Bedroom
MJ: Genius Discrimination, huh? Malia: Don’t mess with me Johnson! I thought you were asleep. MJ: Yes ma’am! I didn’t nap long. Malia: Blogging can be therapeutic! MJ: The thing with the deal and the things came in the mail today. You wanna? It is heavy duty quality. I’m impressed. Malia: How long do you think it will take to…