Warning: If you are not 18 years of age or older, do not read this post, because these quotes are definitely meant for adults only! “I am so glad my thick thighs make your penis rise.” Malia May Johnson “Oh my god! I love when you move my hair and start kissing on my neck and rubbing your c@$k against…
Malia: Baby, do you know what sexual fetish you have? MJ: Maliaphobia? Malia: That would mean you have a sexual phobia about me. As in, you don’t want to have sex with me. MJ: Hornyformaliaalwaysophilia Malia: I like that one. If you put phila at the end of something it means you are all about it bout it. If you…
Malia: Baby, I have OCYDD. MJ: I Googled it. Sounds bad. Malia: What? I made it up. Just go with it baby because this works out for you. MJ: K. What is OCYDD? Malia: It’s Obsessive Compulsive Your Dick Disorder. MJ: What is the treatment for it? Malia: I have decided not to seek treatment. I just want to indulge…
The Naughty Alphabet Motivated by my Sexy Bride Malia A is for Ass B is for Butt C is for Cumming D is for Dirty E is for Ecstasy F is for Fucking G is for Groaning H is for Horny I is for Intimate J is for Juggs K is for Kissing L is for Licking M is for…
Here is what happened when I walked into one of the spare bedrooms Malia is redoing, and I found her lying naked on the bed covered up by 3 giant stuffed animals, also known as “The Stuffed Animal Bandits”. MJ: Oh no! Andre The Giant Bear, Shamu, and Bad News Brown Dog are trying to kidnap Malia! Malia: Help me!…
MJ: I’m like milk. Malia: ? MJ: Because I’ll do your body good! Wanna fool around? Malia: Do you mean you are like Soy Milk because you will do my body good? MJ: No! Full milk all the way! Malia: I am lactose intolerant baby. Milk does my body bad. MJ: Shit! I did know that, but the pickup line…
Malia: Michael David Johnson! I am trying to poop in peace! I don’t need you to sing to me while I am pooping! MJ: I am just trying to help. Malia: How does you singing “Ah! Push it! Push it real good!”, help me to poop any better than when I poop in silence? MJ: It’s poop encouragement, and we…
This morning I was moody, bitchy, and feisty. I was in a bad mood, and I took it out on MJ. My boobs were sore from breastfeeding. I was feeling morning sicknessy. I rolled over to kiss MJ this morning and he accidentally headbutted me. My pregnancy hormones were raging. I still had Italian road whore hitting on MJ, on…
A special thank you to MJ’s friend and body double Chris Hubbard. He is a good ol’ country boy, who likes to listen to country music. Chris sent MJ some country songs to listen to, and MJ has been walking around the house today singing, making up his own funny and/or naughty lyrics to the songs. This is MJ’s remake of…
Malia Surprises MJ In The Shower and MJ Sings To Her Audio Recording Transcript (Audio Recording Below): – Beginning of transcript – MJ: Sings song lyrics- Can’t find a better man. MJ: Unh! Holy shit! You scared the shit out of me! Baby! Oh shit! Oh my God! MJ: What? MJ: Sings song lyrics- Memories back when you should get…