Malia: How is packing going? MJ: Amarzing! Malia: Amarzing huh? What is the average blood alcohol content down there? MJ: 3.14 Malia: PI? 3.14? MJ: Matti said I had to get each one of the multiple personalities Gotye said I have drunk? Malia: Is that a question? MJ: That is the answer my lovee! Malia: What is? MJ: Exactly! Malia:…
Malia: Will you do a date test for me? MJ: Date test? Malia: I saw it in my Cosmo magazine, and I wanted to test “my man”. MJ: Ugh! Malia: Please? MJ: Is this something that if I mess up you are going to get upset about and make me sleep on the couch? Malia: I know you are at…
MJ: Some people may have been mean to us in the past, but I’m done thinking about it. I’m ready to forgive and forget. Malia: We are a team right? MJ: Right. Malia: Good, then you do the forgiving and the forgetting for now, and I’ll do the recovering and the remembering, and I will remind you when to remember…
MJ: This was not my idea my love. You know your body is the only one the real “MJ The Terrible” wants to be in bed with. Malia: It is ok baby. I am ok with the sexy girl promo video, just like I’m sure you will be ok with the sexy guy promo I am doing next week. MJ:…
Note: 6,7, or 8 is the 6th, 7th, or 8th divorce lawyer MJ’s exwife Gotye had. AG: The initials of MJ’s divorce lawyer. AG: Hi. 6, 7, or 8: Hi. AG: I’m glad we could finally talk. 6, 7, or 8: Me too. I’m worried about him. AG: Him who? 6, 7, or 8: Your client. AG: Why? 6, 7,…
AG: The initials of MJ’s divorce lawyer. MJ: AG, are you ok up there? Have you found anything in the stack of pages from Masters of Money’s online social media drama blog that resembles a “document”? AG: Not in the first several hundred pages. I’ll keep looking though and let you know. Hey, in your real life though, I noticed…
MJ: Baby, I don’t love you anymore….. Malia: Baby, I saw your draft of this message on your laptop, and my first thought was, if he is going to mess with me and expect to freak me out, he shouldn’t have started the message with “Baby”, but……. MJ: And if you believe that I have some ocean front property in…
Comments and questions: I work at the title company. I had fun today “Johnson”. Dubs calls you “Johnson”. That was pretty slick how you and Chris went back and forth with who signed what documents, based on who did what and who was who. Smart. You could do that in court. I Michael Johnson’s do solemnly swear to tell the…
Hey MJ. That was definitely a first on a house closing. You brought an army of people. Literally the Army. I’m going to lay you odds the title company will be talking about this one for awhile. Usually the title company is the one with the legal contracts. “Maam, Michael Johnson is here for his home closing appointment. Here are…
Question: My husband cheats on me. I just know he does. I am sick of it. Please don’t post my name, but I need your help MJ The Terrible. How can I monitor his text messages? Please help me. I am a good person and I don’t want to get fucked over. Why can’t I find a man like you?…