Malia: How was the Masters of Money company training?
MJ: We did 2 different trainings. I learned a lot. I love you
Malia: I love you too. What were the 2 trainings?
MJ: Harassment and ASS training. You know what I learned?
Malia: What is ASS training? What did you learn?
MJ: Active Shooter Safety training. ASS training gets you prepared for if someone with a gun comes to your business and initiates a complaint with bullets. I also learned that everything is harassment.
Malia: This is why I worry a little bit every time you leave the house. Did they actually call it ASS training or is that an MJism?
MJ: It is called Active Shooter Safety training, but the ASS acronym is an MJism.
MJ: Harassment training was eye opening. Literally anything and everything could be seen as harassment. Looking at somebody could be considered harassment. I’m not kidding.
Malia: Oh. Are you coming home for lunch?
MJ: No. I wish I could, but I know it’s not possible. I will be home for dinner though.
MJ: Did you know that just looking at somebody can be considered harassment? What kind of shit is that?
Malia: Baby, lets text about something else.
MJ: Why? I want to tell you about how harassment can be anything. You could just be going along about your business and boom, somebody feels harassed because you were looking out the window and not at them, and they feel harassed, and the next thing you know you are dealing with a lawsuit.
Malia: I will listen but I know you. You got freaked out because you heard the harassment trainer person say things that triggered you to think- “Liability. Must guard against liability.” Now you are in defensive block any liability at all mode.
MJ: Suck my dick!
Malia: That would be harassment talk in a work environment, but since I’m your wife it’s ok.
MJ: You know when I get home I’m harassing you right?
Malia: I wouldn’t have it any other way.
MJ: Have you heard of anticonflict zones?
Malia: Don’t do it. I know I was a bitch this morning. I apologized.
MJ: Ok. You preempted my mostly a joke comment.
Malia: Go ahead and say it.
MJ: I want to have a happy fun family night tonight.
Malia: I will take it as a joke. I like to know how you think.
MJ: Ok. Having an anticonflict zone at the house would be good because what if I start an argument? You could have a safe anticonflict zone to go to for peace.
Malia: Fuck you!
MJ: What? Why Fuck me?
Malia: Do you know where the anticonflict zone will be?
MJ: Where?
Malia: In the same place the anti-sex zone will be.
MJ: I don’t think we need one of those.
Malia: Baby you never start conflict/fights. You know it’s always me. That’s why you want an anticonflict zone. 🙁
MJ: I love you. I know you are fiery/feisty sometimes, but most of the time the fiery/feisty is good fiery/feisty.
Malia: I am going to take your comment in stride. I know you are only teasing.
MJ: I was only teasing. Me teasing you is your version of being fiery/feisty with me.
Malia: I’m not upset. I am okay with it. I bitch at you, you tease me. It’s what we do. We haven’t had a big argument in a long time. A really long time.
MJ: So baby making practice tonight?
Malia: Yep! I get you Michael David Johnson!
MJ: #unicornwife I love you and bye. See you tonight
Malia: #bigdickbigheartbigbrainhusband Can’t wait. We will run to the door for a big daddy hug.
The Day Malia and I Met (3-8-2012) – https://www.therealmjtheterrible.com/the-day-malia-and-i-met-3-8-2012/
