Malia: How was your haircut?
MJ: It was good. I just like the military cut place better. I don’t need a handjob while I have steamed towels exfoliating my face, before I get my haircut. Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy it, but sometimes I need it quick. You know what I mean?
Malia: They do not give you a handjob! They massage your hands! Jesus baby!
MJ: This one ladies haircut was $500!
Malia: Honest confession. Mine is too.
MJ: Good lord.
Malia: Would Cheap Cuts and a Shiner beer make you happy?
MJ: Yes.
Malia: Alright Mr. Man of the People with a $100,000 shower.
MJ: Hey! I was only saying that I like the military cut place too. And the shower is therapeutic!
Malia: Un huh.
MJ: Well, a percentage of it is anyway. The rest is because I have wanted a shower like this for years.
Malia: What percentage of it is therapeutic, and what percentage is because you just wanted it?
MJ: 99/1
Malia: 99% wanted it. 1% therapeutic?
MJ: Yeah
Malia: I figured. I’m naked in the shower right now. Can you think of anything I can do in here?
MJ: The iPad is in the middle drawer, on your side of the sink, if you wanna watch a movie.
Malia: Can you think of anything else I can do in the shower?
MJ: I don’t know. You said you had a lot of emails to respond to.
Malia: Can you think of anything else I can do, naked in the shower?
MJ: Baby, I don’t know. I’m not a shower activities expert.
Malia: I am naked in the shower, and you want me to watch movies or send emails?
MJ: What am I supposed to say?
Malia: Never mind.
MJ: What is it baby? What’s wrong?
Malia: Why didn’t you think about me naked in the shower and want to come make love to me?
MJ: You said “I”.
Malia: I was hinting at “We”.
MJ: I didn’t want to be late for my video call with son, and I thought you wanted to have a nice relaxing shower, since you said you never have any me time.
Malia: I am afraid you don’t want me because I’m fat.
MJ: You’re pregnant and I think you’re very sexy right now.
Malia: You still didn’t want me.
MJ: Are you still in the shower?
Malia: Yes.
MJ: Dubs, I’ll be down stairs in 15 minutes to go to my son and I’s apartment. DRIVE FAST!
Malia: I feel fat and ugly. Is this pity sex?
MJ: I’m coming up there to show you how badly I want you, right now!
Malia: Please don’t make any comments about my weight.
MJ: Baby! Have I ever? I love you, and I think you are the most beautiful glowing woman that I’ve ever seen! I would die for you! You are my world! I need you! I want you! I love you!
Malia: Ok
MJ: I don’t know why you are feeling not pretty today, but I love you and would do anything to make you feel as pretty as you truly are!
Malia: Come quickie me, and then go do the video call.
MJ: With pleasure pretty girl!
Malia: 🙂
