MJ: My only complaint is what AG said about the apartment. “The CJ apartment can be nice, but I would stop short of luxurious.” On the tour today, I missed the “can be nice” part. Maybe they just went straight to the luxurious part? Anyway, I do like the place, but I think this is the definition of luxurious, even…
Malia: Mr Johnson. Your services are required in the bedroom. MJ: No. I’ve got nothing left. Malia: Let’s check and see. The only way we will know is if we check. MJ: I think I’m down to like bone marrow at this point. You need help woman. I’m calling a sex therapist. Malia: You are so right. I do need…
MJ: An “MJ The Terrible” electric car? Baby, I know this was your idea. The other day Malia said- “I have a riddle for you. Let’s see if you can hack it “MJ The Malia’s Husband”. What is white, was picked by a black woman, supports green, and has your name all over it?” Baby, I was able to hack…
Malia: How is packing going? MJ: Amarzing! Malia: Amarzing huh? What is the average blood alcohol content down there? MJ: 3.14 Malia: PI? 3.14? MJ: Matti said I had to get each one of the multiple personalities Gotye said I have drunk? Malia: Is that a question? MJ: That is the answer my lovee! Malia: What is? MJ: Exactly! Malia:…
Malia: Will you do a date test for me? MJ: Date test? Malia: I saw it in my Cosmo magazine, and I wanted to test “my man”. MJ: Ugh! Malia: Please? MJ: Is this something that if I mess up you are going to get upset about and make me sleep on the couch? Malia: I know you are at…
MJ: Some people may have been mean to us in the past, but I’m done thinking about it. I’m ready to forgive and forget. Malia: We are a team right? MJ: Right. Malia: Good, then you do the forgiving and the forgetting for now, and I’ll do the recovering and the remembering, and I will remind you when to remember…
MJ: This was not my idea my love. You know your body is the only one the real “MJ The Terrible” wants to be in bed with. Malia: It is ok baby. I am ok with the sexy girl promo video, just like I’m sure you will be ok with the sexy guy promo I am doing next week. MJ:…
Note: 6,7, or 8 is the 6th, 7th, or 8th divorce lawyer MJ’s exwife Gotye had. AG: The initials of MJ’s divorce lawyer. AG: Hi. 6, 7, or 8: Hi. AG: I’m glad we could finally talk. 6, 7, or 8: Me too. I’m worried about him. AG: Him who? 6, 7, or 8: Your client. AG: Why? 6, 7,…
AG: The initials of MJ’s divorce lawyer. MJ: AG, are you ok up there? Have you found anything in the stack of pages from Masters of Money’s online social media drama blog that resembles a “document”? AG: Not in the first several hundred pages. I’ll keep looking though and let you know. Hey, in your real life though, I noticed…
MJ: Baby, I don’t love you anymore….. Malia: Baby, I saw your draft of this message on your laptop, and my first thought was, if he is going to mess with me and expect to freak me out, he shouldn’t have started the message with “Baby”, but……. MJ: And if you believe that I have some ocean front property in…